What can parents learn children who push, kick, hit or bite others?

Who does not recognize it : Children giving each other a push, kicking, hitting , pinching , biting or insult when they are angry ? This document is for parents who want to teach children to respond less physical.

Especially preschoolers respond primarily on their own feelings. They still have to learn to empathize with another and to think first before they respond. These are social skills we would like them to learn, without compromising their enthusiasm and individuality.

In what kind of situations do children respond physically?

• If they feel treated unfairly
• If someone is spoiling their game
• If someone hurts them
• If they have done several times something against their will
• If they are challenged , teased , bullied
• If they feel excluded

Why do children react so intense?

• They are flooded with emotions of anger and sadness, they can't stop it
• They can not emphatize yet with another
• They can not oversee the whole situation, they are only aware of their own experience
• Young children respond primarily that suits their development
• They ( still ) do not know how else to react

What do children have to learn?

• Recognize their own emotions
• Name their own emotions
• Keep their emotions under control
• Emphatize with another, recognize and understand emotions of another
• Naming a situations, who did what and what is the impact of that behavior
• Oversee the situation and understand why things happen

How can parents teach them these skills?

Name their emotions for them : "I see you're upset " Consider using pictograms of emotions to clarify it .
Before they react physically ask questions like: " I think you feel quite angry, what can you do about it? " " I think you feel treated unfair and you want your toy back. Shall we tell you like to play with it yourself?"
Understanding of another , "Do you see how happy she is? " " He also likes to play with that toy, do you see how happy he is?" " Did you see that he looked angry when you punted that ball?"
Naming what is happening and what the effect : "You were both playing with your own doll, then you took her doll. She was upset because she wants to play with that doll herself "
Oversee the situation and understanding: "What would happen if you would knock that tower down?" " Why do you think she was so mad at you?" "How can you make sure that the other person listens to you?" "Will kicking help to make her listen to you?"

The above is very difficult . Even for (some) parents. Do not expect children to remember and apply it next time if you tell children once. You will have to repeat it continuously and children copy your own behaviour most!